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Grower’s Garden — Cauliflower Chips

I’m having a crack at losing weight. Not for any aesthetic reasons — if I get laid any more than I already am by dick is liable to drop off and flee to Mexico.

I’ve noticed my body is starting to struggle with tasks I didn’t find difficult before.

I like snacks. And apparently there has been a revolution in the healthy snacking arena, so I may as well give some of these a go.

I picked up some ‘Growers Garden’ Cauliflower chips in Black Pepper and Lime to snack on during a double shift at work. The package promises 91kcal per serving and they’re made from their ‘own wonky cauliflower’ (ugly fuckers they couldn’t sell). So far so promising.

There’s a life story on the back. TLDR; they’re a bunch of Scottish farmers wanting to make a bit of extra cash on the side.

Right, so how are they? Nice. They’re nice. They put one in mind of a spicy Skips with a noticeable hit of cauliflower. Luckily I like cauliflower, so this is not unwelcome.

However, I am suspicious of their healthy credentials. A closer look at that 91kcal claim on the front shows a pretty paltry portion size of 20g, or just less than a quarter of a bag.

I’m curious, and I have an app on my phone to quickly check calorie counts in other foods, so I train it on a bag of Savoursmith’s Desert Salt by way of comparison. These are very different products — the cauliflower chips are dry and airy, the Savoursmiths are dense and oily, the kind of crisp you just know isn’t good for you.

So imagine my surprise when 20g of the latter come out at 97kcal, a mere 6 kcal more than the ‘healthy’ bag.

Now to be fair, the cauliflower chips don’t explicitly state they’re healthy, but they strongly imply it.

Are they a pleasant snack? Indeed they are, but as a means of healthy snacking? Money for old rope.