Nothing says hot button writing than publishing several reviews of menu items that have already been discontinued!

There are reasons I never pursued journalism as a career.

No matter, because in theory, there’s nothing stopping you from getting your espresso laced brain freeze fix — but should you?

See? See how I narrowly salvaged this one?

The ‘Secret Menu’ concept was a canny one, especially given its launch time in the UK of January — the coldest, most despised month of the year, where no-one dares to venture outside, and having blown all their capital on booze and chocolate the previous month, no one even has any money.

Thus, McDonalds decided to cobble together

a promotional menu that just uses the things they already had lying around!

The espresso milkshake is just that — take the vanilla milkshake item and glue on a shot of espresso! I did assume that the two items would be mixed together — but no! In fairness, the menu does actually have a disclaimer to this effect, and so what you get is a normal milkshake, and a normal shot of espresso on the side. See what I mean?

Having got the goods I skirt off to the condiment station with my two beverages, and with an air of shame, I am left to make the final call, and blend the two beverages together as some sinful union.

Fortunately I’m gay, and thus am used to performing sinful acts in public.

So how is it? Well lets back up and acknowledge that McDonald’s coffee is cheap for a reason — it’s pretty meek stuff, and so too is that attribute to its detriment here. Enveloped by the vanilla folds (ew) of the milkshake, the coffee gets pretty lost, occasionally popping its head up shyly before ducking back out of sight.

One welcome consequence of the hot espresso hitting the cold vanilla shake however is a thinning of the viscosity of the shake. To some this will be an additional detriment, but in the era of flimsy paper straws, I see it as a benefit.

So, should you get it? Maybe? The espresso shake was locked in as a medium size, so I’d be keen to try a smaller shake and see if that helps the espresso break through a bit more, but to the possible detriment of the structure of the shake. It’s a nice idea, I’m just not sure it works here.